Last night, I was awake but trying to sleep and thinking about what you said over text just 10 minutes ago. It was tempting, clever (and a bit not PG), _____
Okay, so sleeping was out.
3AM fueled on Nutella and temptations. I haven't said your name out loud for 2 whole hours and I can't seem to force it past a whisper because I know the only thing I'll really hear is "regret... regret... regret".
This, this civil war - lungs vs head. They're screaming silent pleads for the other to give. And the only reason the lungs have their strength is because my head, against it's will, has to remind them, "inhale... exhale". It's his job.
And I can't find it in my head to stop telling my lungs to inhale after exhaling. It's an automatic response. "Hey, I hate you but you need to inhale, and then exhale." Because sometimes my lungs do embarrassing things like hiccup when I call you on the phone or act more like gag reflexes when you send me texts like 10 minutes ago. See, it would be easy if I just told them to stop. Exhale. Exhale. Exhale. But I can't. It's his job.
This, this civil war - lungs vs head. They're screaming silent pleads for the other to give. And the only reason the lungs have their strength is because my head, against it's will, has to remind them, "inhale... exhale". It's his job.
And I can't find it in my head to stop telling my lungs to inhale after exhaling. It's an automatic response. "Hey, I hate you but you need to inhale, and then exhale." Because sometimes my lungs do embarrassing things like hiccup when I call you on the phone or act more like gag reflexes when you send me texts like 10 minutes ago. See, it would be easy if I just told them to stop. Exhale. Exhale. Exhale. But I can't. It's his job.
The war continues.
This, this civil war
ReplyDeletemmhhm.
"I'm hanging on your sentence like it's redemption" Brilliant.Much needed.
ReplyDelete3AM fueled on Nutella and temptations.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why this line stuck out to me but I loved it.